10 Months Already!

Happy 10 months to my baby girl! Time is definitely flying by and I have been so grateful to spend the last 2 months with my Leila girl!

These are just a few of my favorite shots as of late. Leila is growing quickly, but not nearly as quickly as she was (thank goodness!). She officially started crawling on April 1st, just a week before she hit 10 months. She still isn't a huge fan and will only crawl if she can get into mischief without me knowing or she is absolutely forced to. If it's the latter, she will protest the entire time by crying/whining/screaming. She is still my cautious, observant little one and I am okay with that. She likes to wait, watch, and take everything in before she makes a move. Although she likes to stand, she is definitely not pushing forward to walk and I imagine that it will be several more months before she takes those dreaded  first steps.

On the food-front, she still won't eat anything. I got her to try a few things and she did manage to pick up a wheat thin on her own and PUT IT IN HER MOUTH! This is huge for us. She didn't really eat it, but just the fact that she was willing to taste it is a step in the right direction. We did find out she has a food allergy though. Based on what she may have eaten it is probably dairy. The poor thing broke out in a HORRIBLE rash after eating either 1. the wheat thin 2. a carrot 3. licking rice (I don't think she actually ate any of that!) or 4. the lick of ice cream she got from face planting into an ice cream cone. The nurse's bet is on the ice cream. Yay!

All in all, she is happy, healthy and just a joy. I love her sweet nature and her quick smile. I love her deep voice and the raspy "fat boy" laugh she has. I love her big eyes and coy/flirty looks. I love my sweet girl. Happy 10 months!

Happy 9 Months to Leila and Happy Birthday to my 3 Year Old!

Whoa. I can't believe I have a 3 year old. When did this happen!? For Christian's birthday, it was pretty low-key. We got him an AWESOME Cars bike and Mickey Mouse helmet which he absolutely loved and blew up some balloons for him to play with. We went to Loomis Chinese for dinner and of course, got "frozen and yogurt" from Yogurtland, his favorite!

Sunday we had a family party. Enchiladas, beans and rice and then brownies and ice cream. He got completely spoiled, like usual, but it was such a fun time!

Christian has turned into such a sweet, caring, fun little boy. He is very polite and extremely conscientious of others and their needs. He loves to run, jump, ride his bike, blow bubbles, and is obsessed with puzzles. He talks....A LOT and has started to become interested in singing songs and doing modern dance...ie...hopping around like he's riding a horse. He loves beans and rice, macaroni and cheese, spaghetti, burritos and tacos, fruit snacks, strawberry yogurt, and popsicles (pronounced pop-si-yos). He can count from 1-20 but likes to repeat 15 a few times if he does it without help. He knows his alphabet and can recognize each letter on sight. He is not interested in writing or drawing yet, but loves to paint with water colors. His current best friends are Ellie (she LOOOOOOVES him), Delilah (She tells her mom they are getting married), Elaine, Brooklyn, Adam and Aunt Jamie, Aby Sushi and Lightning McQueen. These are all according to him by the way :)

Leila is officially 9 months. She can clap, wave and pretend-sneeze on command (thanks for that Jared!). I can't go anywhere without people stopping us constantly to remark on how beautiful she is. I am worried she is going to be a vapid beauty queen or something. Girlfriend still won't eat and is THINKING about crawling. She will pull herself forward, get onto her knees and then immediately sprawl out. If she does get on her stomach she will push backward a bit, but she doesn't like to work too hard. She is still sweet, content and subtle. She is cautious and likes to watch others before making any kind of movement. She is already a huge flirt and has it down pat. She will catch your eye and wait for you to talk to her and then immediately bury her head in the shoulder of whomever is holding her, just to peek back at you and smile.

I love my kids. I love being a mom. It is freaking hard, but each day I am learning and growing and so grateful to be home. A big shout-out to my hardworking, handsome Mister. Jared I love you and I am having a blast. Thank you for all you do! XOXO

This quote rocked my world today

This quote rocked my world today

 "I actually attack the concept of happiness. The idea that - I don’t mind people being happy - but the idea that everything we do is part of the pursuit of happiness seems to me a really dangerous idea and has led to a contemporary disease in Western society, which is fear of sadness. It’s a really odd thing that we’re now seeing people saying “write down 3 things that made you happy today before you go to sleep”, and “cheer up” and “happiness is our birthright” and so on. We’re kind of teaching our kids that happiness is the default position - it’s rubbish. Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, failure; all of those things which make us who we are. Happiness and victory and fulfillment are nice little things that also happen to us, but they don’t teach us much. Everyone says we grow through pain and then as soon as they experience pain they say “Quick! Move on! Cheer up!” I’d like just for a year to have a moratorium on the word “happiness” and to replace it with the word “wholeness”. Ask yourself “is this contributing to my wholeness?” and if you’re having a bad day, it is."


For some reason, when I read this, it just spoke to me. I feel validated and...relieved. Continued happiness is a fallacy. We have to taste the bitter to appreciate the sweet. My new goal is to work toward wholeness. To not feel guilty or stuck just because I had a bad day. I want to recognize the bad days, embrace it and then let it sweeten the good days to come.

The Stretchy Pants Dialogue Begins

When I decided to be a stay at home mom, I joked with my friends about how I was going to refer to my time at home as the Stretchy Pants Dialogues. I have to tell you, there really is nothing better than not having to get up and dressed in professional clothes everyday. I could pretty much wear yoga pants almost every day and it is SO LIBERATING! Not saying I do wear them every day, but it is nice knowing I could :) 

Being at home has been going well. We are getting into more of a routine and everyone is becoming more accustomed to me being home ALL. DAY. LONG. It is not easy, but it is also really nice too. Here are some of my favorites from the past week:

Me: I love you, Buttercup

Christian: Don't call me Buttercup. You're a Buttercup. *Humph*

Leila learning to clap her hands

Jared having most of Valentine's Day off. He gave me a card and then surprised me by turning on "our" song and then dancing with me. It was very romantic and very un-Jared-like.

Christian climbing up on the bed and me telling him to come get dressed. His response? "No, mom, I gotta be CRAZY" and then jumping around, flailing his arms and shaking his head around like....well....like a crazy person. :)

A Progressive Dinner with friends for Valentine's Day.

Leila consistently taking Jared's glasses off with a very mischievous grin on her face and then flailing around like a chicken. Oh, and I can't forget her new trick...the tongue. She likes to stick it out and flick it around like a lizard. I will try and get a video.

Leila's 8 month update.

This is going to be a quick update. Leila is freaking awesome. If you want to convince your significant other that having a baby is a good idea, come and borrow her. She will charm her way right into their heart - that's a promise. Who else can boast a baby that will sleep through the night and has since she was 3 months, sit quietly, smile at anyone who smiles at her, giggle, laugh, and play? Just don't try to feed her. She's a monster!

Okay, not really. I think even monsters will eat.

But seriously, I couldn't love this girl any more. I love to snuggle her and play peekaboo. She has a deep laugh and crinkles her nose when she smiles and has just started clapping! She flails her arms like a chicken when she is really excited. I am in love. 

And no, she isn't crawling yet, so stop asking. My sweet, coy, observant little minx is taking her time so get off her back. ;)

Transitioning to a SAHM

A lot of people have asked me how, why, when, etc...I decided to be a Stay at Home Mom! So I thought I would get it down officially on the blog 1. so I don't forget and 2. to answer the questions :)

This may or may not be a surprise to a lot of people, but Jared and I have been working to get to a point where I could be a stay at home mom since I had Christian. I always, ALWAYS thought that I would be a working mom. I like to work. But then, I had a kid. Suddenly leaving home every day just wasn't as much fun anymore. With Christian, I went back to work after 6 weeks. SIX WEEKS! Can you believe that? He wasn't even 2 months old yet. It seems terribly cruel in retrospect, but I did what I had to do in order to provide for my family. But it was horrible. Sure. I liked Fidelity, it was a good company, the benefits were fantastic, the work was challenging but not overly stressful, but leaving that sweet baby at home was hard. HARD. I had lots of moms and others tell me, "You are so lucky to work. I would love to be away from home and these little (monsters/tyrants/terrorists/hellians/enter your favorite adjective here)." Well, I didn't feel lucky. I felt cheated and distraught and angry and bitter.

It was time to start recognizing that being a working mom was NOT what I wanted after all. The problem: Since I had always planned to work, we made financial decisions based on a double income. That was not easy to face. So we bit the bullet. We cancelled the smart phones. We cancelled the cable. We cut our dates, eating out and fun budget in half...and then in half again. We took all of the money saved and paid off debt. First was the credit card. Then the car. The furniture we "couldn't live without". The list goes on and on. All that STUFF we thought we needed. It turns out, I would eat top raman every day if it meant not having to leave my infant with someone else. We slowly paid off everything we could. We bought a house that isn't our dream, but is nice enough and big enough and has a lower payment than most people's car payments. Not everyone can claim a mortgage (including taxes, insurance, etc...) under $500. We traded in the gas guzzler for a car we barely fit in, but that cut our payments and gas by almost $250 a month.

We have sacrificed for what we wanted, and you know what? It's liberating.

When I was pregnant with Leila, I knew I couldn't keep working. I was convinced that I would give my notice as soon as my maternity leave was over. Unfortunately, God had other plans. I am going to share something with you that some people may scoff at, but I hope you will love and respect me enough to keep those comments to yourself.

September rolled around and it was time to go back to work. My plan was to work 2-3 weeks and then give my notice. The day before I was supposed to give notice, I was driving to work and praying about quitting and all of a sudden I got a very clear, "Not Yet." Devastated doesn't quite sum up my feelings about this revelation. I cried. I cried all day. I cried a few days. After everything sacrificed, how could I possibly have to keep going? How was I going to work 40-50 hours a week, raise 2 kids and with a husband working 12 hour days, still do the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, baths, bedtime, etc...? The weight of the responsibility was suffocating. To those single parents who have done it, my hat goes off to you. You are stronger than I am.

Then something happened. At the end of September Jared was supposed to transition to a new salon and start October 15th. Good. Great. NOT great. By the middle of October it was clear things were not working out. The salon owner decided she didn't want Jared after all. So he was scrambling to find a new place to set up shop. It became clear WHY I wasn't supposed to quit as planned.  He found a salon he was excited about, got the job, and when he told me, we both knew it wasn't right. The Spirit immediately left my heart and I knew that this wasn't the place for him. So our prayers changed. The paths we were praying about were both wrong so at this point, we needed a new path to be opened to us. The next day, a solution that was staring him in the face, that he hadn't seen, became clear. A friend had asked him a few weeks before if he knew someone interested in sharing a Sola Salon with her. That day he realized that person was him! It didn't seem like as good a deal as the other salon, more footwork and he would be back to booth rent, etc...but it FELT right. So we did it. By November he finally had a place to work!

At the beginning of December I finally got the "Go Ahead" answer from the Lord that it was time for me to be home with the kids. The logical side of me just couldn't do it though. At the end of December Fidelity gives its employees a profit-sharing into our 401(k)s of 10% of our salary. So I decided to wait for that! It ended up being perfect because I was able to get the profit sharing, Fidelity made a $1,000 deposit into my health savings account, and I had some "perk points" that I could use to cash in on items I wanted. So I was able to get a bike, an iTouch, a new surround sound system for Jared and a few odds and ends. It was a nice ending to a very successful career with the best brokerage firm on Wall Street. And I don't mean that sarcastically.

I am grateful for the opportunity I have to stay home. I have had so many people tell me how hard it is to be home and I would like to say, "I know. I had no disillusions that this was going to be a cake walk. If you think this is hard, try doing both." It is hard. Being a mom is hard. But I love it, and I wouldn't have it any other way!

7 Month Leila Update

Well, I am a little behind. The good news is that she is STILL 7 months, albeit, barely :)

Here's some pictures of my princess

Hanging out in the bathroom sink while Daddy takes a shower

#whitetrashbumboseat

Leila's Aby (Jared's mom) made her this freaking cute hat - Cabbage Patch Kid anyone!?

I couldn't help but put this one in! And big news in the Joyner household is that the binky is GONE!

Here is a headband that I made with help from my friend Stephanie!

Another view

Ugh. Melts my heart she is so cute!

Aaaaannnnddd....here's her scary face! See, she isn't always cute but she sure makes me laugh!

She still has zero interest in crawling, but I am alright with that. She is getting taller, but still isn't putting on much weight. Don't get me wrong, she is totally fine and healthy, but I think all her chubbiness is in her face! I just wish this little mama would eat. It is still a no-go for solid foods. I have decided not to worry about it. She is still nursing, I still consistently offer her cereal and other baby foods and now it's up to her. Although she is extremely sweet and easy-going, oooowheeee, this girl will NOT do something she doesn't want. Stubborn anyone?

She loves her jumper and her legs are getting stronger everyday. Leila loves anything with music and that is light enough for her to lift and put in her mouth. My favorite developments have been when she wants to be picked up she will start flapping her arms and kicking her legs and reach for me! She is rolling like crazy and determined to get what she wants. I am hoping she will wait on crawling just a little bit longer. Leila loves to suck on her bottom or top lip and blow raspberries on her own arms. It's hilarious. Love my little Leila girl!

***Just a quick plug for Christian. I know I don't do his updates anymore because, let's be honest, he's old news!;)  But he is growing like a weed and is a lot of fun. He has officially entered the terrible twos, just a little late since he will be 3 in March. He loves to throw tantrums and toys, but for the most part is a sweet kid. He talks NON-STOP and is very detail-oriented, just like his Dad. He is in size 4T clothes and size 11 toddler shoes, so I still call him my Great Dane puppy. His newest things are:

1. Asking me to go to Disneyland DAILY
2. Puzzles
3. Learning new songs (his favorites are "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star", "Row, Row, Row Your Boat", "A,B,C,D,E,F,G", "The Itsy Bitsy Spider", "Give Said the Little Stream", "Baa, Baa, Black Sheep" and asks for each before bedtime at night)
4. Yes or No questions. "Mom, is Leila awake? Tell me yes or no.", "Mom, is Dad going to be home right now? Tell me yes or no.", "Mom, do you want some crackers? Tell me yes or no." Cute. Funny. Annoying. All of the above :)