*Sigh*

This is how I feel right now. Does anyone else ever feel like there are so many responsibilities, so much anxiety, so much to do, so much going wrong or right, so many worries, so many fears, so many EVERYTHING that just by keeping it all inside you are going to completely EXPLODE? That's how I feel right now.

I feel overwhelmed by my short comings. I feel saddened when people misunderstand me or think the worst of me instead of giving me the benefit of the doubt. I feel stressed by our current situation. I'm completely intimidated by the thought of having a child. I feel pulled in different directions when it comes to my career. I want a simpler life sometimes...well, a lot of the time.

It's a boy!

Well, from the poll you guys can see that it was 2:1 that we would be having a boy, and you were right!

Jared and I went in for the ultrasound Monday and were happy to find out that we are having a precious little boy :) I am not gonna lie, I was hoping for a girl, just for the simple fact that I love bows and frilly dresses, but a boy is going to be awesome too. I guess my niece Elaine will just have to wear all the cute dresses and bows I want to buy! Jared took me out shopping after the appointment and we got a couple of cute little outfits to celebrate the coming of our SON!

I wish I could post some pictures of the ultrasound but our ultrasound tech SUCKED! We honestly didn't get one good shot. You would think she would have done a full body shot, but she didn't. We got an arm here, a leg, a foot, but no BABY. We actually go back in a couple of weeks for another ultrasound and echocardiogram, so I think that I will request a good ultrasound picture!

The baby is healthy, and I am extremely grateful for that! I will keep you guys updated :)

HALFWAY

HALLELUJAH!

Well, I am officially halfway through this pregnancy. I am not gonna lie, it has sucked big time most days, but I am SOOOOOOO excited to have it be over and be blessed with a little kid to take away all my sleep and free time ;)

I DID take pictures when I hit 4 months, but I look like a humongous monstor, so I am still debating whether I am going to post them. I guess the good news is that I am still in my regular clothes, so maybe I am not as big as I think I am.

We find out Monday what we are having (if baby cooperates of course), and once that happens I think my first order of business will be to buy something! Can you believe that in 4 1/2 months we haven't bought ANYTHING for this poor kid?? Feel sorry for it, his/her mama is cheap! hahaha

People keep asking me about cravings, and the truth is...I haven't craved anything weird; I actually haven't really craved ANYTHING lately. There was one day where I really NEEDED cheese puffs, and another day where beef jerky sounded good, but for the most part, it's been a struggle to eat. I know, I know...shocking! Here's a sample of what the conversations between Jared and I sound like lately:

Jared: What sounds good to you babe?
Me: NOTHING
Jared: Well, can I make you something? Or do you want to go and get something?
Me: Well, I know I don't want mexican...or hamburgers...or chinese...or italian...or sandwiches...or sushi...or pizza.
Jared: (Laughing) Okay, so what does that leave?
Me: I guess I'll just have cereal

Not even joking, we have that conversation every day and have for about 8-10 weeks. And yes, I have cereal most nights because then I don't have to think about it, or cook. I can't think of a single other pregnant woman (beyond the 1st trimester of course) that has trouble meeting her caloric intake for the day. Does that mean that my baby is going to be one of those kids who always marches to the beat of their own drum? AWESOME!

Other than that, I am feeling good! Working sucks, but I am grateful I have a job. Jared finally got a testing date for his California cosmetology license, so I am REALLY happy about that! Hopefully that means that things are finally coming together.

I'll post again when I know what the gender is, and maybe even a picture of me, we'll see!

I hope you'll give me a chance.

I hope you'll take the time to read the following article because you love me and you respect me, and you know, deep down that even if you don't agree with what I believe...that above all else: I believe in love and compassion, just like my church teaches.

Hugs and Kisses,
Lindsey

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700072199/A-call-for-civility-following-Mormon-Apostle-Boyd-K-Packers-address.html?pg=1

Love It

So we went and visited my niece Elaine on Sunday and I caught her and Jared looking freaking cute together. I can totally picture him being a dad now!