Hoooome, Home on the Range

*Setting* My office at work. An older lady and her son come in to process a bank wire. Since the amount is over $15,000 and going to a third-party (an Escrow Company), I will need to involve our one-time wire group. I fill out all the necessary paperwork and let her know that since it's after hours, the one-time wire group will call her Tuesday morning to ask her a few questions and then they can process the wire for her.

Lady: Well tell them they have to let it ring.
Me: What?
Lady: Tell the people calling that they have to let it ring. The phone is on a tree and it'll take me a while to get to it.
Me: (sure that I must have misunderstood) The phone is on a tree?
Lady: Yes! The phone is on a tree in the pasture. Right now I am living in a barn while I am waiting for my modular home to come. That's why I need this wire.
Me: Well, that's a first! (Looking at the son, who didn't seem to think what she was saying was all that crazy!)

Lady: *Laughing* Yes! The phone is on a tree in the pasture so tell them they HAVE to let it ring. Since it's so far out there, I won't hear it ringing, but the cat will hear it and come and get me out of bed. It's kind of a saggy bed though, so give me a minute to get out of bed and put on my thong flip-flops and get out there to get the phone.

So I send a note to one-time wire with the instructions that they HAVE to let it ring because the phone is on a tree...in the pasture, but don't worry THE CAT will let her know when it is ringing.

On Tuesday a girl from the one-time wire team sent me an email saying they couldn't accomidate my request and asked that I please call the lady and conference her in with the group. When I called, with her on the line, I said, "I was requested to conference in a client" and the rep said, "Is this the cat lady?". Oh yeah, the story had gone through the entire department :)

The rep she talked to totally phished for more info. I found out she lives in the barn, her stuff is stored where the hay would normally go. She has a water trough in there where she bathes and if she needs to take a shower, she drives down to her friend's house. He asked her if it got cold in there and she said that it did, but with it warming up, it'll be good because it'll keep her warm and warm up the water in the trough for when she bathes.

Best. Day. Ever. I wish she was my grandma.