7 Months

Okay, so looking at these shots now, I see that Jared was standing way too close! But at least it gives you an idea of how I am looking right now. Mostly tired ;)



Straight on Jared says I don't look pregnant. I am not sure if that's true, but I will definitely go along with it!




Aaaaaaannnnddd here's the baby bump. Not too shabby for 33 weeks!

 This was taken the day I found out about gestational diabetes and hypertension. Can we talk about that for a sec?

Let me just preface this by saying, I KNOW everything will be okay. I can manage this with my diet, I am sure, and the hypertension...well, I will do my best. I know people mean well, but I don't need everyone reassuring me that things will be okay. Can a girl just have a little time to work through and grieve/get pissed, please? Can someone just validate that it is OKAY to feel this way, just for a little bit?

 Here's the facts:

-I had high blood pressure with Christian, so I knew I was more likely to develop it again with this baby.
-The gestational diabetes is actually not too bad. My fasting number is what was high. Once I took the sugar drink, my body actually processed the sugar just fine.
-I should not need insulin to manage the diabetes.
-My doctor has my last day of work as May 3rd. It is almost exactly the same amount of time before my due date as it was when I had to take off for Christian.
-Other than the normal discomfort that goes hand-in-hand with pregnancy, I actually feel really good.
- I will need weekly doctor's appointments and 2 non-stress tests each week along with testing my blood sugar 4 times a day.
-The best thing for me will be to rest and to eat small meals at regular intervals.

Here's the feelings:

Honestly, I am angry. I took REALLY good care of myself this time. No over-eating, exercise, fairly good rest (considering I am the mom of a 2 year old)...I am mad at my body for letting this happen. I mean, I have only gained EIGHT POUNDS in 33 weeks! Are you kidding me!? How could I possibly be "sick" again?

I am blaming myself. What if I was thinner when I got pregnant? What if I give my baby girl diabetes along with a freaking heart defect? What if? What if? WHAT IF!?

Don't get me wrong, I will do anything I can to bring a healthy, *hopefully* beautiful, little girl into this world. I don't care if all I can eat is salad and cardboard! I am so excited to meet her! I just wish I didn't have to be on "bed rest" (side note this term is hilarious to me considering I have an active toddler).

So there you have it. I am an upset, but optimistic pregnant woman dealing with yet another blow regarding the health of herself and baby :)