An Emotional Basketcase

Yup, that's me. A basketcase. Yesterday, I would say I spent a good two hours over the course of the day crying. Why? you ask. I have no idea. That's not true. I think that some days people are just better equipped to handle emotions than others and yesterday....I was not equipped. The morning started off good enough. I woke up at 5 because I couldn't sleep (no surprise there! I don't think I have gotten more than 4 hours of sleep a night the past month) and decided to just get up. I made my husband breakfast and lunch when he awoke about an hour later because he had a long day ahead of him (class, work #1, work #2 and then basketball), and I felt good knowing that I could at least make sure he was well-fed. He left about 7:15 and all of a sudden I looked around and realized that the only thing I had to look forward to for the next 14 hours was an appointment at the hospital for monitoring at 1:30. An appointment that MY MOM has to come and pick me up for because I am not supposed to drive. That's when it started. I felt lonely, isolated, uncomfortable and just TIRED. Tired of being at home alone, tired of being pregnant and uncomfortable, tired of never seeing Jared, just tired.

Then, I threw up all over the carpet. That's when the tears started.

I went through the rest of the morning just trying to be productive. I got up, showered, walked and got the mail and then over to the bank to make a deposit. I felt a little better. Then my mom came and got me for the appointment. What's the first thing she said to me? "Well, you look bigger today." Awesome, just what every emotional pregnant woman wants to hear. Then, they told me that my blood pressure is still high; no suprise there. And yes, I started crying as I laid in the recliner listening to my son's heartbeat.

When I came home, I decided I was just tired, so I laid down in bed and put on a movie. I actually fell asleep for almost 45 minutes, HALLELUIA! Unfortunately, I missed a couple of phone calls from my older sister and she kept calling, panicked that I had gone into labor. Ah well, 45 minutes is 45 minutes.

Jared called and could tell I was a bit of a mess so instead of going straight from work to basketball, he stopped by to check on me. That was nice. Unfortunately, he stayed for 7 minutes. 7 minutes! That's all he could give to his poor, lonely, pregnant wife. I knew I should get up and eat dinner, but instead I stayed in bed and watched "The Man Who Knew Too Little". If anyone can make me laugh, it's Bill Murray.

I know, I know, I am pathetic. I have so much to be grateful for and I AM grateful, but yesterday I think I lost sight of that. Today is going to be a better day. It HAS TO BE or I might go nuts! *sigh* Okay, I had to get that all out of my system so that I could move forward. It's 6:00 a.m. and I have already been up for two and a half hours. Maybe I will try to go lay down again before my 10:30 a.m. doctor's appointment.